Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
