i think my mom watched the whole time
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
