I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
