And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
