Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
