I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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