just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
