how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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