have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Randomize
