one word: firstdatebathroomanal
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
