so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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