He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize