You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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