it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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