EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
