ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
