At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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