bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
