need another drink. this is the easiest way
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
