I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize