Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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