your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
