Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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