Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
