I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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