I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
