He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
