Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
