Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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