Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
