I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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