I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
You smell like a Billy Joel song
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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