Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
It's shark week go big or go home
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
