One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize