I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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