He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
