There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
