Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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