I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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