You don't have asthma, your pregnant
"it" just moved
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize