Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
