Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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