You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
