What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
50% drunk capacity currently
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize