Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
