I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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