I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize