u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
