I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
