I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just forgot I was standing up.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
