Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
