his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
