I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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