He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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