I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
