Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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