Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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