Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
