I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i think i have two assholes
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
