they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
