I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
