Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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