remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I currently don't understand fingers.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
