Fine. I'll sleep in my office
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
