What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
