Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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