There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
