So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
