she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
