you didnt know i had herpes?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
