I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize