you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
