you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
