I'd wear matching sweaters with you
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize