Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm both gender and math confused
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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