Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
