i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
